What the hell is going on and do I look that bad? Like a singer who cant carry a tune in a wheel-barrow on American Idol. The gal thinks she can sing but everybody else is snickering at her. This cannot be, I will so freak out. Look at Goldie Hawn, she’s always sexy her and her daughter share clothes she still wears fun stuff. Okay, she has $$ to get her face lifted and tummy tucked and she looks like she did when she was 30. I cant look that bad can I?? Tell me I’m not on American Idol making a complete ass of myself…I’m scared!
I went to try on some dresses for a Ball (BTW Who the hell goes to a Ball?… old people) So I’m thinking this dress has to be perfect. I had never gone to such a swaray before, ya know haughty taughty club (which I’m not scared) but I don’t want to completely look like a fool, whatever! I’m more the disco ball queen or even a pub and grub princess.
Yesterday Im at the mall picking out my potential gowns or “little black dresses” if you will. I popped my head out of the dressing room, yelling “Help, could someone zip and critique me in this dress”? Well I did that for twenty minutes or so and then a southern white woman said she would help, (she scared me) reluctantly she zipped me up and then gave me the upper lip and shook her head “Thats not working for you” she said. I thought it was a hot little number, blue sequened cut just to there. Very Disco Bally fun, okay maybe not for a stiff charity Ball, but I live life in the fun lane and tough if it offends people as long as it looks cool. But I must say her look and her critique was painful and I had second thoughts about my whole being. One nasty look can f*ck you up for the whole day.
I am turning fifty this year and can’t believe it myself. I am fighting it tooth and high heels…(which I’m never giving up by the way you can’t make me)! Your ass falls down when you give those up, F*ck that!
I almost didn’t buy that dress and went to the old lady section where I reluctantly tried on frumpy frocks and almost killed myself…I cannot go there ever, please God don’t make me. So I went back to the juniors and got that blue sparkley number, that the bitch was probably jealous (I’m hoping) maybe she was telling the truth. What if it’s true and I am lying to myself and I get to the ball and people stare and I will feel like I’m in a naked school girl dream, remember those when you were little? It could happen for real. Like those women who look great from the back then they turn around and you’re like whoa grandma stop dying your hair its false advertisement. See just for saying shit like that it could be me and probably is. I am that singer on Amercan Idol, singing way out of tune and thinking I’m Sarah Brightman.
I will keep you informed, the Ball is tonight, do wear the blue or the frumpy grandma dress? Ha ha maybe I’ll drink wine first and nothing will matter by then…hehe
LIVE LAUGH LOVE LOUDLY…even if you make a dern fool of yourself have fun!